


Life Through Rose-Colored Lens

by aiienharry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 06:07:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17782010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aiienharry/pseuds/aiienharry
Summary: His briefcase weights almost as much as he does, and it’s as he sits it down on the pavement by his feet just to get his bearings that he sees him. Or rather, it’s quite hard to miss the person with the bloody bedazzled sunglasses on in the middle of winter.





	Life Through Rose-Colored Lens

**Author's Note:**

> I have been thinking about writing this fic for VD since hearing Lady Gaga's rendition of La Vie En Rose (which is where the title comes from)! This was only supposed to be about 10k but I started adding more and more story and I had to keep going and going and adding on more and more until it just turned into this. But the original premise is still the same, and I have to say that I loved writing this and I hope you love reading it.
> 
> This is unbeta-ed, so if there are any mistakes I'm sorry!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy and happy Valentine's Day!!
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> [Fic post on Tumblr](http://aiienharry.tumblr.com/post/182805458426/life)

“So rather than being a normal adult on Valentine's day and I don’t know…finding some dick or drinking your feelings away on cheap wine, you decide to go to Paris on a business trip and work?” 

Louis rolls his eyes at Fizzy, continuing to stuff his suitcase with his third pair of trousers that Liam shakes his head at, taking it out himself and folding it. He anticipated this opposition from his family and mates, maybe a little bit of them trying to convince him to stay at home, a bit of head shaking and huffing, but he at least thought they would be a little bit nicer about it. The trip isn’t even all business, he’s only staying for a week, meetings set up for only three days, and the rest he was told to enjoy himself as thanks to the company. They even set him up in a Pretty Woman-style suite. Which is exactly what he told everyone, but since everyone thinks that Louis is this brooding lonely hermit that won’t go on any dates unless they practically blackmail him, they immediately shit on him for taking the job.

“It’s not that serious, Fizzy.” He sighs, placing a few ties in a pocket of his suitcase. “Besides I won’t be working that much, I’m just there to represent our section of the company, and the rest of the time I can sip on cheap wine but in an expensive hotel bathtub filled with bubbles that I won’t be paying for.” In all honesty, it seems like a win-win situation.

Fizzy snorts and continues to tap away on her phone. Liam, now done with organizing his suitcase from the mess that it used to be, sits down and admires his work smiling up at him and shrugs. “If I were you I would be jumping for joy right now. I wish my job paid me for taking a glorified business trip to fucking Paris.”

“Fucking thank you! At least you’re on my side,” Louis reaches over his bed and gives Liam a high five, Fizzy looks between them, annoyed. “I don’t know why you all have your knickers in a bunch. I’m going to be in the city of love for a whole week and I barely have to work!”

Fizzy looks up from her tapping with a frown and crosses her arms. “But you said they were going to give you a day off, and instead you wanted to work? You’re crazy,”

Louis decides to ignore it, he knows why they’re all so opposed to him spending the week in Paris. They think he’s only going to get away from all the couples that are going to celebrate and holiday commercials, walking into the shops and seeing dying flowers with little bears attaches to them. But Louis isn’t a baby anymore, isn’t a little kid that got said when he never received a card from his crush. He is a grown man and he knows that wallowing and waiting for his special someone to come by being cynical over a commercial holiday used by corporations to get more money into their stingy pockets isn’t a way to live. Plus he’s going to the self-proclaimed ‘city of love’ and he’s going to be surrounded by a lot of couples, and if he really wanted to get away from all of that he would have turned down the offer and stayed holed up in his apartment all day. Just like he does with every Saturday he has off.

His flight takes off at eight in the morning tomorrow and his meeting is at ten, after that he has the whole day to himself which he knows he will spend in bed being engulfed by the fluffy hotel duvets. He moans just thinking about it.

“What are you and Zayn doing?” He asks thirty minutes later after they’ve all busted a sweat attempting to get Louis’ suitcase to close because like he always does he overpacks and then spends an hour complaining how Liam should have stopped him. But now they’re laying down in his bed eating pizza and watching something random that Fizzy has put on. 

Liam laps at the grease running down his arm, Louis grimaces. “I dunno. Think we’re just going to go out to eat and spend the night at home.”

Louis nods and goes back to his pizza, making a mental note to put his duvet in the washer when he comes back. Maybe he can get Fizzy to do it since she’s house sitting for him for the week he’s gone.

 ____________________

When Louis arrives at the airport an hour before his flight leaves he’s already cursing himself for deciding to wear his suit on the flight but it’s only two hours and he even bought a salad to eat so he wouldn’t be hungry during the meeting today.

Louis makes his way through security, dropping off his luggage and quickly making his way to his flight before it leaves him. The two-hour flight passes by with a breeze; soon he’s off with only a slight headache, heading out into the warm sun, cold wind slicing through the opening in his coat. It takes him a while to procure a taxi, but soon he’s in one, muttering in a horrible French accent, “La Défense, is um…where I would like to go.”

The taxi driver smiles at him and says back, “Of course sir.” And they’re off, yesterday’s worry’s thoughts and dreams left behind and just a distant memory as Louis stares out the window and out at the scenery. Even though he has been to Paris before, once when he was about four or five and twice for summer hols, it still blows his mind each time with how beautiful it looks.

During college and uni Louis had tried to learn French, but after a while, he forgot everything he learned minutes after class would end and decided that maybe learning French just wasn’t for him. He sighs, maybe he should have taken those courses a little more serious or at least downloaded the app with the owl so he could learn before his trip. But that thought aside, soon they’re in the city going passed old architecture that makes his mouth water. The old mixed with the new should clash with each other but it surprisingly works. And to no surprise, the city seems to be a little decorated for the romantic holiday coming up. Hearts hang from the lanterns, vendors selling flowers and bears, couples hand and hand that would have filled a younger more bitter Louis with annoyance but Louis now finds it cute being that he’s much more mature.

The taxi stops in front of the office buildings, he pays the driver and heads out and into the building suitcase and all. The meeting went as swimmingly as Louis had initially hoped, he was to present his companies branch of progress and seemed to impress everyone that was there to watch. And now that all of the hard work was done all he has to do now in the next two meetings is take notes on the other branches, sent a report back to his boss over email and he was good to go.

They finished early in the afternoon, jet lag has taken its toll on his body and as soon as he opens the doors to the bedroom he collapses still in his suit and doesn’t wake up until nine to ten.

Moonlight streams into the room as a gentle breeze blows through. Snow is falling in little flutters outside but the city is still as lively as it was this morning. Louis gets up slowly, smacking his lips together and peering around his hotel room. It’s a suite and he thanks whoever is above that his company didn’t just throw him in some shabby hotel for the week, plus he thinks they upgraded the tubs and now they have little water jets on them. He’s giddy just thinking about it.

Getting up he sends off a quick text to Liam and Fizzy, takes a picture of his hotel room with the caption ‘suck it’ — with a middle finger of course — all while stripping down to his birthday suit. And with no shame at all, he walks out into the main room, marveling at the size of it. There are two couches that face towards each other with a desk behind it, and in a corner, there are two chairs facing a television. Painting’s litter the wall, and even a bust of Plato’s head sits on a table in another corner. Louis nods, “Not too bad, Tommo.” He says to himself, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious with Plato steering daggers right at his naked arse. He turns around towards the balcony, shivering as he walks closer to the open doors, stepping out and almost slipping from the frost that covers the majority of the ground. But god damn it all if the view wasn’t beautiful. Louis can sort of see the Eiffel Tower in the near distance, a bright beacon against the cold dreary sky above. The freezing temperatures become too much to handle and he doesn’t want to flash anyone looking up so he leaves with a sigh, closing the doors gently behind him.

And maybe it’s because he’s really human, and he’s always been surrounded by mates or family (he grew up with an army of sisters for christ sakes), or maybe it’s because the hotel room makes him feel a bit small, exposed (he is naked), but as he looks around at everything he can’t help but feel a little lonely in these two big hotel room.

Louis frowns, pushing the thought down and buries those feelings as much as he can. He’s okay, there is nothing wrong with being alone, and even if he had someone to come home to, he still couldn’t have brought them on this very important business trip that means a great deal to the company. He’s fine, more than fine actually, in fact, he’ll order room service and have them bring up two slices of cake just because he can.

So maybe eating two slices of chocolate fudge cake wasn’t such a good idea, and maybe Louis shouldn’t have called Fizzy because all she’s doing right now is laughing at him over the phone while he clutches his poor stomach. At least he’s doing it with jets pounding his back, with champagne that’s definitely going to make his stomach worse, sitting beside him. Oh, and did he mention the bubbles as well?

Louis huffs, “You’re brother is over here dying and all you can think to do is fucking laugh at me,” He can see Fizzy now, laying in his bed and watching his telly all while laughing at him through the speaker of his phone. He huffs again and whines, “You should be more worried. What if I’m poisoned?”

Fizzy snorts, “Stop being a drama queen. No one told you two eat two burgers, chips, and two slices of cake. You’ve done this on your own, Lou.”

Louis groans and clenches his stomach, between this and the jets it’s like he’s getting beat up from the front and back. Or maybe he is being a bit of a drama queen, but at least the jets actually feel alright. “Yeah yeah yeah. So how is everything there? Miss me already?”

“You’ve been gone for almost a day, I’m pretty sure everyone can manage without seeing your face for a week.” She snickers into the phone and Louis pouts, trying not to slip further into the bath. 

“Correction, my beautiful handsome face that no one would dare manage to miss seeing without a week.” He might as well live up to his drama queen roll. 

He can see Fizzy’s eye roll as she speaks, “You talk a lot of shit for someone who has the shits from eating two slices of cake. Call me when you’re off the toilet.” And she lets out a honk of a laugh before hanging up.

And to no one, Louis says out loud as the rumbling in his stomach settles a bit, “At least I have my jetted tub and champagne.”

 ____________________

The following day is just as lackluster as the first, he has a meeting at ten that Louis nearly misses because he couldn’t figure out how to switch on the shower. He makes it with a minute to spare, sitting through a two-hour meeting taking notes and trying not to die of boredom. But instead of just going back to his hotel room he walks around the business area of the city. He wished he was a little more knowledgeable about the building and sculptures around him, he actually got an average mark in geography but still couldn’t tell which countries were on the left and right of France.

Louis walks around for a while, trying not to get lost around the city but it’s so easy when everything catches your eyes all at once and the streets bleed into one another. He takes a picture of the arches, some of the office buildings not caring if he looked like a tourist. He sends them off to Liam and receives a ‘wow’ in response.

Back at the hotel, Louis decides to get a little work done and go over his notes, trying to make them as cohesive as possible before ordering room service for the evening. This time he just orders a pasta dish and some water, eating while watching whatever pops up on the telly before heading off to bed. He tries not to think too hard about the way loneliness followed him around all day, clung to him as he looked around at the smiling tourist and families, all the while sending a thousand photos to Liam because he knows he’s into architect. It seeps down low, pooling at the bottom of his stomach as he lays awake gazing up at the ceiling. Bitterly he thinks, at least I have…before nodding off to sleep.

 ____________________

The next morning goes about the same, he almost misses the last day of his meetings because he forgot how to switch the shower on again, and it takes quite a minute for his taxi to show up. But after the meetings are all over and he nearly almost gets blinded by a bird that swoops down to eat a piece of bread crumbs that someone is throwing by him, he makes it to a bus stop almost completely unscathed.

His briefcase weights almost as much as he does, and it’s as he sits it down on the pavement by his feet just to get his bearings that he sees him. Or rather, it’s quite hard to miss the person with the bloody bedazzled sunglasses on in the middle of winter. He’s wearing the most ridiculous glasses ever, but Louis is one hundred percent sure he’s seen them in a Gucci catalog before while he was waiting in his dentist offices, or maybe Lottie has shown them to him before. Come to think of it Louis even liked the post that Gucci posted of some blonde girl eyes wide and lips in a thin unwavering line wearing them. Okay maybe Louis is being a bit dramatic but they are the most obnoxious sunglasses he has ever seen, and his sister got him a pair of knockoff ‘clout’ glasses just last year that he may or may not have given to Daisy.

The point is is that…Louis actually doesn’t know the point, but this bloke is standing there in a crowd of tourist, Gucci sunglass and purple trousers that fit at the thighs and flare at the feet. His white shirt is tucked in and his brown furry jacket catches each flurry of snow that falls on it. Cap askew on his head and head up towards the sky. It’s weird and it’s a little tacky but Louis is almost sure it’s the best thing he’s ever seen. And he doesn’t even notice himself picking up his briefcase and walking over towards the group. He stops himself for a second because what is he doing? Is he really about to go over and do…what exactly? But his feet can’t catch with what his brain is thinking and soon he’s standing right next to the bloke. He does and quickly glance over and catches him staring at Louis.

Louis looks back over at his previous stop and shakes his head at himself because he’s being a real creep right now.

“Are you…okay?”

Louis whips his head over at the man, and even though it’s probably below freezing out he can feel his hands start to clam up. “Uh, yeah I’m alright.”

The man smiles and nods, hair bouncing in the wind. Louis watches him hesitates for a moment before saying, “It’s just…you look like you’ve just shit your pants.”

And because Louis’ sense of humor has gone down the toilet these days (just a few days ago he laughed at a picture of a lemon with legs wearing cowboy boots and a hat…make of that what you will) he laughs and laughs and because this man seems to also have a shit sense of humor he laughs along as well. They laugh together, unbothered with the pockets of other tourist giving them looks and shaking their heads.

Wiping the tears away not only for what the man said but also because the wind is starting to pick up and his eyes are beginning to sting from how dry they’re getting, he mutters, “I don’t know whether I should be offended or not. But judging by my laughter it’s safe to say that I’m not.” And if Louis was a little smoother with his flirting (he’s not flirting though) he would introduce himself and compliment the bloke. But something tells him that’s not the way to go here.

“Um…I’ve never really just outright told a stranger that. Probably should have started off with an introduction or a funny joke but no. Guess I’d rather start off with telling people they look like they’ve just shat their pants.” He blushes and looks away, and it has Louis blushing and looking away but maybe it’s because this man is really pretty and really endearing that Louis looks back. “I uhh…can get a bit…ramble-y sometimes.”

Louis nods and smiles because he’s just so damn endearing behind those obnoxious sunglasses. “S’alright love.” Louis takes a deep breath, “Umm…my name’s Louis,” He holds out his hand as if he couldn’t have made it even more awkward.

But the bloke just smiles and shakes it, “I’m Harry,”

Before they can go any further with whatever is going on a bright-eyed woman comes to the front of the group just as a big bus pulls up and starts yelling, “Can we all make sure everyone is here?! Check on your neighbor, make sure you get on the bus or we leave without you. I’m talking to everyone that’s taking the tour! You got five minutes!” And she's off, stomping off and greeting people, helping some of the elderly get on. Louis frowns.

“Are you not with us?” Harry asks. A big gust of wind howls in his ears, and it has him moving closer to Harry as people push them out of the way to get on.

Louis shakes his head no and lifts up his briefcase. “No, I actually came from that building over there. I had a meeting with some companies so…”

Harry takes off his glass, and Louis falters for a second because he’s really fucking beautiful. Sea green eyes stare back at him with something mischievous in them. Harry shrugs and grabs Louis’ hand. They climb on the bus together and sit down. Louis is too stunned to say anything, knows that they’re probably going to do a head count and he’s going to end up being kicked off in front of everyone. He’d rather just go back to his lonely hotel room by himself but before he can get up the bright-eyed energetic woman comes up to them and stares at him.

“Have I seen you before?”

Before Louis can get a chance to beg her for forgiveness Harry butts in and says, “He was one of the stranglers in the back that kept getting lost when we wear taking a tour and looking at the Grande Arche. Didn’t want him to get left behind so I’ve been staying by his side.”

She doesn’t say anything for a while, only squints at him harder before nodding and leaving. Louis lets out a sigh of relief. “I was one hundred percent sure she was going to kick me off and have me arrested. You know you’re crazy right, Harry?”

Harry smiles and shrugs, putting his glasses back on. “What’s wrong with having a little fun. Plus I think she’s too worried about not leaving any of the old people behind to even notice what us youngsters are doing.”

Once again Harry is way to endearing and weird for his own good. Who says youngsters unironically or like…at all? Louis laughs and shakes his head, heart racing as the bus starts up once everyone is on and sets off on the next course. Louis looks back at Harry as Harry looks on outside. “So…where are we going next?”

Harry smiles and pulls out a sheet of paper with a list of places on them, most of the list is crossed out and only two things remains. “Next we are going to the umm…” He stops for a second and brings the paper close to his face. “Muhsee da orsay which is like…a museum. And uhh…wow that was um…a horrible translation. Next, we’re going to the Rodin Museum. And that’s where the thinker is. After that, we get dropped back off at the hotel. 

And because Louis can’t get it out of his mind why Harry would want to go on a tour of France with a bunch of tourists and quite frankly a bunch of old people. He asks, “Is…why are you going on this tour? I mean you could see these places by yourself? It would be a lot more interesting.”

Harry appears to think for a second, and Louis hopes he hasn’t struck a nerve but Harry smiles back. “Well, it is a lot cheap than just going to these places by yourself. And I don’t know, my mum felt safer knowing that I was in a group of people on a bus then by myself.”

Louis nods and looks out the window, watching the snowfall and melt onto the ground below, the city becoming a blur as the bus makes its way to the next destination. It doesn’t take long to get there and soon they’re touring the museum walking passed sculpture after sculpture in the main room before they head off on there own to where the paintings are. Louis watches Harry marvel at all the artwork, and it makes Louis realize that he is here, standing next to someone he just barely an hour ago standing in front of famous works of art.

He suddenly feels less lonely with Harry by his side, tucked close together and arms linked as they walk and swing around the room for a second time before heading off to another room and another and another and soon they’re standing in front of a Starry Night. And Louis feels so small standing next to it and he looks over at another painting of Van Gogh’s, a self-portrait of him painting entitled ‘The Man Suicided by Society’. He breathes.

“This is…amazing,” Louis whispers, looking over at Harry who’s looking at him with something in his eyes. Louis looks away, cheeks burning and hands feeling clammy again. He can feel Harry staring into the side of his head, but he doesn't dare look over.

“I-“ Harry pauses, “Yeah…it is amazing.”

They leave and meet up with the group outside, almost missing the bus. The next museum passes by in a blur of flirty dumb jokes about the dicks on the sculptures that earns them a few odd looks, walking with their arms link like they’re an old married couple as they make up dumb commentary of the paintings and those who painted them, it’s a game that almost ends in a blood bath but Louis wins and Harry pouts the rest of the way back to the group and refuses to take off his glasses no matter what anyone says. “I don’t want them to see the pain in my eyes after you just beat my arse in a game that I'm usually ace at.” He says chin held high and rosy pink mouth licked with spit and in a permanent pout. 

They’re having so much fun playing around on the bus and daring the other to send a random weird picture to one of their mates and Louis wins again because Liam, bless his heart, sent him a long text on why Louis shouldn’t be sending him these things while he’s working. Harry pouts again and says that it’s not fair but Louis just snickers and sits back in his seat. When they pull up in front of some hotel that Louis has never seen before is when he realizes that he is nowhere near his own hotel. But he honestly wouldn’t know, either way, could barely remember what the front of the hotel looked like anyway. They all file out of the bus and onto the streets and into the hotel lobby. It’s not as luxurious as the one he’s is set up in but the style is rich with history and blows the place Louis is staying in out of the water.

It’s awkward as they skirt around the inevitable. Louis is going to leave and go back to his hotel, spent the rest of his time here alone and most likely getting lost around the city, then he’ll go home with only a slight cold and memories of pink obnoxious glass, arms linked and a picture of a stone dick. And as Louis turns to leave he feels Harry grab his arm and spin him around, a nervous smile on his face, “I…well I just…” He looks just as unsure and awkward and nervous as Louis feels, and Louis doesn't know if it calms him or makes it worse. “We just had such a good time today I uhhh was hoping it wouldn’t end. Maybe we can go out to eat?”

Louis nods immediately, wiping the sweat of his brow. “Yeah yeah. My sister actually sent me this place that seems to have good food. Honestly, she just looked it up and said it looked cool but umm.” Harry snickers at that and Louis smiles but continues on. “S’called Ellsworth,”

Harry nods and takes off his glasses, tucking them in his coat before reaching to grab Louis’ hand only to pull back at the last second. “That sounds amazing.”

And they’re off, back out in the freezing cold weather that Louis will never stop complaining about. They grab a taxi and spend the next ten minutes arguing over what song by ABBA is the best. Louis proclaims himself as the winner because Super Trouper is a goddamn masterpiece and far more superior than Harry's choice which of course is Dancing Queen which Louis doesn’t even know what to say about that, and by the time they’ve secured their spot in the corner of the bar and ordered their food and downed two glasses of wine Louis is a little bit more than willing to let Harry win this time. And it’s not because Dancing Queen is more superior than Super Trouper (“Don’t be daft, Harold”), but it has a lot more to do with the way Harry drawls on and on about why it’s the best, and the way his eyes sparkle under the bar lights, or how his lips are stained red from the wine. And Louis is even more willing to give Harry the win when he watches him slurp up his pasta, complain about the weather here and back home, and Louis finally does when Harry giggles and giggles with wine-stained lips and flushed cheeks, saying anything that comes to his mind. He’s gone off this boy, and he’s pretty sure Harry feels the same.

The bartender taps them off and sets down two glasses of water and their check. Louis ignores it all in favor of watching Harry blush. “So what are you in Paris for?” He asks.

Harry hiccups and covers his mouth before grinning and mumbling in Louis’ ear, “Just vacationing s'all. I’m actually, well I don't know yet, but I might be coming back here at the end of the year with my family, or we may be going to another area in France. But I thought Paris during Valentine’s Day would be…I don’t know…romantic. Even though I am single.

Louis nods at that, “I’m just here on a business trip. Might’ve been able to tell from the suit and comically large briefcase.” 

Harry laughs, a loud obnoxious thing that has Louis’ face heating up and something stirring in his stomach. A stir that’s always there when he looks at Harry, or Harry smiles at him, or when their hands brush. Or maybe it’s the alcohol. Yeah, it’s probably the 4 glasses of wine he had mixed with the pasta he scarfed down. Or maybe…

“But yeah,” Harry says after a beat, twirling his ring clad fingers against the rim of his glass. “I was just going to go to like…Ireland or summat to visit a mate but he went to America to visit his mate or…” he holds up his fingers and does air quotes, “'mate' I should say. So I said fuck it and booked a train to Paris and while on the train I looked up tours and…yeah. Sorry,”

Louis quickly waves off the apology, sitting a little closer. “S’alright love. My uhh…my mates and my sister were a little apprehensive about me coming, spending the holidays here. But honestly, I love it. And I’ve got the whole week to myself to explore and eat really good food and…” Louis pauses and searches Harry’s eyes for a second, and when he sees what he wants, he says, “And I get to talk to very fit blokes in a random umm restaurant while tipsy on wine. So…guess they were wrong about me coming.”

Louis can see the blush rise on Harry’s cheeks, and maybe it really is the wine, and he’s reading this all wrong, but at the same time, he knew what he saw when Harry licks his lips after peering up from Louis. And at the same time, he’s leaning in, and Louis is leaning in, and their lips contact. And god. It’s exactly as Louis imagined, Harry has really soft lips, and he’s not even mad at the smell of wine on his breath or the tart taste from Harry’s tongue roaming its way into his mouth. He invites it all, the hand on his hip, thigh, and his hand on Harry’s thighs. It’s sweet and bitter all in one, from the taste and texture of Harry’s tongue to the feeling of his lips on his.

They pull away a second later, and Louis hopes that he looks just like Harry looks right now, disheveled, lips glossy and eyes filled with lust. He feels his pants tighten and he throws down his card and waves the bartender overall without looking away from the lust in Harry’s eyes.

Once he gets his card back he grabs Harry’s hand and they slip out into the night, coats barely on as they flag down a taxi and get inside. Louis rattles off the address to his hotel and looks over to Harry. “Is this…are you okay with going back to mine?”

Harry leans over and cups his face, kissing him deeply before pulling back and nodding quickly. “Yes,” he breathes before connecting their lips again. Louis’ hands find their way to Harry’s waist, he holds on like he’s clutched files or monkey bars or whatever you hold on to with a strong grip that you know will leave an imprint. So Louis squeezes hard because he wants Harry to see it later and think of him.

It causes Harry to moan low and raspy that has Louis doing the same. A cough is heard from up front and reluctantly Louis pulls away before this turns into something more in the backseat of a taxi.

Harry looks at him with a shit-eating grin and Louis is only left to wonder what he’s thinking about when he says, “I feel like Beyonce in the partition video.”

And of all the things Louis expected to come out of Harry’s cherry pink lips that he can’t stop licking or biting he says that. Naturally, Louis laughs like it’s the funniest shit he’s ever heard.

“Uhh, how does it go?” Louis mutters, giggling when he remembers, “I don't need you seeing Harry on her knees. I meant his!” Harry covers his mouth with his hand, shaking with laughter. “Shit, is that how it goes? How does Beyonce know your name?”

Harry laughs and laughs until tears brim the corner of his eyes, Louis joins in and they have to physically stop themselves from crying.

Once they arrive Louis pays the driver and rushes them through the lobby, waving hastily at the lady at the front desk and shoving Harry in an empty lift, attacking his neck with his lips. He sucks and bites and licks until Harry is a whining mess and the lift dings open. He parts and gives Harry enough space to try and shove his hand down Louis’ pants.

Louis pulls back and walks them to the door, “Holy shit, Harold.” He breathes, opening the door and tossing his briefcase down by the door. “Can we at least get off the lift and through the door?”

Harry ignores him in favor of slowly making his way around the room, mouth agape and coat falling off by one of the couches. Louis trails after him silently, watching in endearment as Harry traces everything with the pads of his finger, delicate and slow. “Umm…what kind of business do you do that they put you in this?” Louis gives him a basic rundown of the company while Harry makes his way onto the balcony. “Wow, that’s like…so sexy.”

“What?” Louis looks at Harry bewildered but if the tightening in his pants has anything to do about it he’s even more aroused. “What about my work is sexy?” They walk back inside after Harry complains about being too high up.

“I dunno,” Harry shrugs, “I guess you just look really good in a suit. All business and stuff, and I bet you would look even hotter with my mouth around you-“

Louis chokes on his spit tries to compose himself while Harry looks like at any second he’s about to burst out laughing. “Uhh, was not expected that.” 

Harry raises a brow and slowly saunters over, wrapping his arms around Louis’ shoulder. “Oh really? How about I just show you what I really mean then?” Before he can reply Harry is backing them up until his knees hit the bed and he buckles, falling back. And then Harry pulling off Louis’ coat, tie next all tossed on the floor. Out of sight out of mind. Harry unbuttons the first four next, smirk always on his smug little face, Louis loves it. Then he leans down and starts sucking love bite onto his neck and collarbone that has Louis moaning and panting with his head to the heavens, neck exposed to give Harry more access.

It’s then that Louis’ phone rings because he’s just unlucky like that and whatever God out there really wants to screw him over right now while a pretty man is lazily sucking on his skin. He huffs and ruffles his coat around until he finds it, groaning with annoyance when he sees that it’s Liam’s number. “I’ll only be just a minute, love,” Louis says, smiling at the frown that inches it’s way onto Harry’s face. Louis answers it quickly, “What do you want, Liam?”

“Well sorry for wanting to make sure my best mate is okay and alive.” 

Louis doesn’t have nearly enough patience to deal with this right now. “Liam, what do you want? I’m alright okay? Alive and very much not dead. Next question please.”

Louis watches as Harry snickers from his place beside Louis, sticking out his tongue and getting flipped off by a very tired looking Harry. He watches as he leans up and rubs at Louis’ erection through his pants, and it nearly has him coming right then and there. He bats the hand away when Liam asks if he’s having a good time. “Y-yeah, I am Liam. I really have to go so if there is anything you need please tell me!” As soon as Liam as much as sounds like he’s about to ask another question Louis hangs and huffs while Harry lets out a big breath before bursting into laughter. “I’m not even in the mood anymore because fucking Liam with his kind heart couldn’t leave me alone for a second.” They both start laughing and laughing and laughing until Louis can barely keep his eyes open in part because he’s dead tired and the glasses of wine he had. He looks over at Harry to see if he’s the same way and finds him with his eyes closed and mouth parted little snores coming out.

And with one final look, Louis thinks that maybe he could spend the rest of his life like this. And it’s as if the night before never happened.

 ____________________

Twenty-five years on this earth and Louis was pretty sure he had enough sense and experience to stop going to bed drunk. But at heart, he was still his eighteen-year-old self that thought get drunk on Thursday nights knowing he had class the next morning wasn’t that bad.

At least the upside to waking up hungover with a dry mouth and eyes crusted over is that he was waking up next to someone who seemed to be in the same shape as him. Harry was still sound asleep, mouth parted and hair falling onto his face. It startles Louis when he involuntary reaches over to move the hair and he jerks his hand back like he’s been burnt. Harry stirs and Louis holds in a yawn. His eyes flutter open, a smile stretching across his face after looking at Louis with confusion and then resolve. Louis smiles back just as bright, taking his hand and shield Harry’s eyes from the sunlight that cast little beams around the room.

Harry giggles, “Thanks for protecting my eyes.”

Louis’ heart starts to beat a little faster, “I…you’re welcome, Harold.”

Harry gives him a look, all pursed lips, eyebrows tight-knit. “Do you really have to call me Harold?” He yawns and smacks his lips.

Louis laughs and nods slightly, carding a hand through Harry’s hair and slowly working the tangles out, “Yes I really do, Harold.”

Harry sighs and closes his eyes and after a while, Louis thinks that he’s fallen back asleep, but he opens his droopy eyes and frowns. “My pants are very uncomfortable.” He smiles to himself before murmuring, “S’the price to pay for wearing corduroy.”

“That’s what first attracted me to you.”

Harry pulls back, “What? Really?”

Louis nods and pulls his hand back. “No, it was those obnoxious glasses.”

Harry huffs out a laugh and pulls them out, now that Louis can see them up close he puts them on for himself, handing them back to Harry after they have a laugh about them. “Yeah,” Harry says breathless, head now on Louis’ chest. “I saw them online for like…a lot of money. So I found a dupe online and customized them myself.”

“I quite like them a lot, and you’re purple corduroy pants. It’s…quirky in a way only you could pull off.” And Louis doesn’t really know what he’s saying, but he felt like saying it anyway. He’s only known Harry for a day and yet they’ve bantered like old mates that grew up and grew apart and found their way back together. It’s odd, but Louis isn’t one to shy away from the odd, he embraces it head on.

They stay in bed and swap funny stories before ordering room service while breakfast is still being served, hopping into the shower together. It’s intimate in a way that Louis hasn’t ever really experienced before, washing each other's hair and trying not to slip once Louis’ got Harry pinned to the shower wall kissing his lips and jaw and anything he can get his mouth on. And they eat breakfast in robes on the bed, curtains drawn because Louis has a really bad headache and Harry’s towel that’s wrapped around his head keeps falling and it sends them into fits of laughter every time it slaps him in the face. They don’t leave the room all day, moving one of the couches and settling in front of the telly. Cuddled up with Harry practically in his lap, head lolling throughout the movie as he tried to stay awake, a calm feeling washed over Louis.

 ____________________

The following day happens to be Valentine's day. Louis usually spends the holiday at home sat in front of the telly sleeping and eventually ordering take away, the usual. But the first thing he and Harry do when they wake up, morning breath still present as they swap kisses and random stories thoughts and ideas that make their way into their minds, is quickly take a taxi to Harry’s hotel so he could change his clothes. Harry comes out of the bath with dripping wet hair, striped trousers that fit wonderfully around his thighs and an off white shirt. Louis snorts, he looks like he’s going out to play baseball.

Naturally, Louis makes his thoughts known. “It really looks like you’re going out to play baseball.”

And naturally, Harry laughs as if Louis has just told the funniest joke in the world. “Don’t make fun. I didn’t pack anything formal so this is my best bet.”

“I don’t know any baseball jokes but I if it makes you feeling any better, which I think it will, your arse looks really nice in those trousers.”

Harry rolls his eyes, “Haha, cheers.” And while Harry is running some product through his hair, little tongue poking out in concentration, Louis comes up behind him and wraps an arm around his waist swaying them gently.

“I think you really good, Harry,” Louis whispers into his ear, chin tucked in between the space where Harry’s shoulder and the base of his neck meet. “Really good,”

Harry smiles at him through the mirror. “Thank you, Louis.”

Louis smirks, “So are you batting second or first or do you like to catch the balls more?” Harry squeaks and hip cheeks Louis all while Louis is dying of laughter, a dirty look crosses Harry’s face. They leave a few minutes later, back to Louis’ hotel so he can get ready, and they can plan on what they want to do for the day. As much as Louis tries to convince Harry that they could just stay in and order room service Harry wins the argument and they head into the heart of Paris, deciding that for the day they would get ‘lost’ in the city and see what comes of it.

They go to the seventh district where the Eiffel Tower is located and actually where Louis’ hotel is situated. The streets are decorated for the holiday, vendors passing out flowers and small bears, love hearts on the street lamps, the snow that had been falling on week has all been plowed and salt has been thrown down making it easy to walk around. Couples are walking hand and hand kissing slyly and whispering sweet sayings into their significant others ear. And it’s as they’re walking around hand and hand shoulder to shoulder as Harry buys him a single rose and Louis buys Harry a rainbow bear and a cheap ring that he’s one hundred percent sure is going to turn Harry’s hand green. He even tells him, but Harry waves him off and says he won’t ever take it off, ever. That Louis realizes that he isn’t alone sitting at home or in a hotel room gorging out on pizza and sleeping on the couch and waking up with a crick in his neck. He’s out on Valentine’s day with a man he meets two days ago and they’re walking around Paris hand and hand laughing and tripping into each other, noses bright red from the cold and fingertips that feel like ice but they refuse in a silent protest to let go. Louis doesn’t know what to make of it, the feelings that he’s feeling right now because he hasn’t felt this way in…forever really. No one makes him feel the way that Harry does like he’s floating on ice like he’s sixteen again. It scares him in a way that his past relationships never had.

Harry breaks him out of his thought with a gasp and a sharp tug on his arm. “Louis look!” He says while pointing at the Eiffel Tower. It’s a few blocks away but the view is clear from where they’re standing. Harry pulls out his phone to take a picture. “I…wow.” Is all he says after.

Louis reaches over and plants a kiss on his cold cheek. “Let’s stop and get some breakfast before we make the trek over, love.” And they’re on their way to a cafe to grab a bite to eat.

Harry says around a mouth full of bagel. “Can you believe where we are now? We’re in Paris on Valentine's day sitting in a cafe with the view of the Eiffel Tower in the background. 

Louis smiles and nods. “I know, love. I know. Even though I have been to France before, it’s still so…jaw-dropping to see things like that right in front of you. Even if it is kind of touristy, it’s still surreal.”

Harry wipes his mouth, taking a sip of his coffee and leaning his head on one hand and staring out the window. “I’ve only ever been to Germany before for a summer holiday, and to Ireland but that doesn’t count I don’t think.” He takes another sip, “But even if it is a touristy thing to do I don’t care, I haven’t experienced it outside of pictures and I want to. No matter what anyone says.”

Louis hums in agreement and they finish off the rest of their breakfast before starting the remaining trek over to the tower. The sun shines down on them and they shed off their coats, still hand in hand despite how hard it is to carry around their things. But they make it, sun shining overhead and backs drenched in sweat, but they make it hand and hand, shoulder to shoulder, and after a moment lips to lips.

It’s not as grand as Louis thought it would be, with them standing in the muddy grass and all, but it is quite big from where they’re standing. He knocks shoulders with Harry, “I can’t believe that this is just…here. This big piece of metal.”

“Lou,” Harry whines, “This is more than just a big piece of metal…I think.” They stare up at the tower and snap a few pictures before moving along. It lost its charm as soon as Louis steps in a big muddy puddle and causes his socks to be soaked at the bottom. Harry laughs and Louis grumbles. They take a taxi to go see the Place des Vosges because Harry seemed really interested in visiting and when they looked up ‘things to do in Paris’ on google it was one of the first things to pop up. They walk around the square and sit down on one of the benches that aren’t occupied. Harry snaps a few pictures and they sit hand and hand. 

Louis looks around and frowns. There are a lot of people milling about, but with the dead trees and the fountain not running, plus Louis’ cold arse, it loses its charm. Louis hums, “It’s sort of boring here.”

Harry gives him a look, “Why?”

“Dunno, it’s just…the trees are dead, the fortune isn’t running. It’s just…feels dead here in the winter.”

Harry nods and looks around, seemingly thinking it over. “Might just have to come back during summer to see if it looks better. But judging by the pictures online it looks way better in the summer.” Louis takes a peak and agrees. Even if it’s half dressed up for Valentine’s day it still looks dead and dreary.

They leave and head back to Louis’ hotel after looking at a statue that was close by. They spend the rest of the day lounging around before getting ready for the night. Louis lends Harry a button-down shirt so he at least looks a little formal, and they go to some fancy restaurant that serves snails that Harry immediately turns his nose up at when Louis orders four of them as an appetizer.

“It’s disgusting,” He muttered looking on in disgust. “It looks like snot and I bet it tastes like it too.”

Louis frowns, pushing the plate away after cracking one open and the meat or whatever it flops down on the plate. He almost gags because Harry is right. It looks and feels like snot. “Oh god. That has to be the most disgusting thing ever.” 

Harry smirks, “I told you. And the most disgusting food ever is Surströmming, yes I learned how to pronounce that, which is like…I think it’s like a type of fish. It smells atrocious.”

“Did you just say a random fact out of nowhere?”

Harry nods and giggles, “Yeah, I know a lot of random facts.”

“Tell me another one,”

Harry throws out facts left and right while they wait for their food, and by the time it comes Louis is a lot more knowledgeable about the world around him then he would have liked to admit. The wine and pasta are to die for and Louis is pretty sure that he’s causing a scene in front of the other patrons but he can’t seem to care. In two days this is all going to be over. This dream-like state he’s in with Harry, their own little bubble, his going to be over soon. The pasta and wine and running around the city and riding in taxis. The kissing and holding hands, the way they fall asleep facing each other but come morning his body is wrapped around Harry’s and their legs are tangled. The way Harry’s curls feel under his fingertips, the vibrations of his laughter, dimples and bunny teeth. It’s going to be over in two days. Whatever they have, had, in Paris will be over and it’ll become a story he tells his mates when they ask him about his time here.

Louis clears his throat and smiles, taking Harry’s hand in his and squeezing it.

Harry beams, squeezing back, “Is it weird that I feel like I’ve known you for...all of my life? Or at the very least, that I’ve known you way longer than three days?”

Louis shakes his head, “No, I kinda feel the same way.” They nod in unison, “It’s weird isn’t it?”

“There's nothing wrong with a little weird. I quite like weird.” He squeezes his hand again and takes a big gulp of his wine, placing it back down gently and looking at Louis through the gaps on his curls.

Yeah, Louis thinks, he quite likes weird too.

 ____________________

Saturday morning is spent in a love-drunk fog (more of a sex haze if anything) of tangled limbs and delicate kisses to frantic making out and steady hands on hips, missed place condoms that has Louis emptying half of his suitcase out to find and when Harry asks why he brought a small pack of condoms and lube he shrugs. “I think my mate Liam put these in,” And they leave it at that.

It’s querying fingers that fit just right and the sounds of skin slapping against skin, the build-up of an appending orgasm and the toe-curling aftermath that follows. 

Saturday afternoon bring sticky kisses that taste like whipped cream and maple syrup. The smell of fresh coffee and bacon and strawberry shampoo, the fluttering of the curtains and big soft fluffy bathrobes that barely leave anything to the imagination. It’s little bubbles of laughter and tiny droplets of water that make their presence known with every shake of the shoulders and twist of the head. It’s opened mouth kisses on anywhere their mouths can find with the sounds of the bustling city just below. 

Saturday night brings hushed whispers in the dark and promises that won't be kept, forgotten by morning. It's ‘please don’t go’ and ‘I wish I could stay’ then kissing and more kissing and more promises and inquiries about what the future will hold. Louis thinks you become bolder in the dark, more confident when no one can make out the unhappy expression on your face.

They hold on to each other the whole night, too afraid to move and slip away, but come Sunday morning everything is over and it's packing to go back home. Throwing everything in his suitcase and tidying up the hotel room. It's dropping Harry off in his taxi, hugging and kissing and sad smiles and trying not to appear too unhappy. It's checking out of the hotel, getting to the airport and barely just making it on, sitting on the plane and thinking about what happened these past few days. Feelings of hurt swell up inside of him, and he can't help but think about the first night he'd been there, alone in a bed that was too big. And the last night he'd been there, wrapped up in Harry's arms while whispering promises in the dark taking up every space and crevice that they could. Living and breathing as one. But it isn't night anymore and the confidence he'd felt then is gone had been gone come morning when the light shined through the curtains almost as if it was exposing them, laying them bare out in front of each other.

Louis gets picked up by Lottie and they ride home in silence, the city passing by in a blur that mirrors when Louis first rode through the city of Paris.

Sunday nights are sending out emails to his boss about the trip and all the notes he took send by pdf. It’s watching as Fizzy and Liam and Zayn bicker over what to watch on the telly and sneaking dumplings from the others box. The sounds of laughter and family and dragons breathing fire. All while Louis looks on and wonders if he’ll ever get back what he had in Paris. The ease of conversation, the way words just seem to flow right out of him, the banter and hand-holding and…the falling in love with someone whom he didn’t even know existed days ago. 

Sunday nights are falling asleep in an empty bed and hoping that he didn’t just miss his chance at a lifetime of happiness.

 ____________________

London in March is just like London in January or in February. It’s gloomy and cold, and Louis ends up having to spend a week at Zayn and Liam’s while the plumbing is being fixed at his flat. And of course the first night there he hears them fucking from where he’s laying in the guest bedroom. And the next morning he gives them an earful about hospitality and the appropriate time to fuck while having a guest over (it’s not at ten when you’ve all just retired to your rooms). 

Suffice to say they practically jump for joy when the plumbing is fixed a day earlier than expected. 

Louis tries not to chalk up his shitty mood on his stay in Paris that ended three weeks ago but Fizzy and Liam have other ideas. It’s as they’re out helping Liam shop for an anniversary gift for Zayn, that they bring up his sour mood. It’s cold and raining and Louis has stepped in a few dozen puddles so now the bottom of his trousers are soaking wet and so are his socks and he really wished he would have stayed home.

“You okay, Lou?” Liam starts, turning over a gold charm bracelet back in fourth, putting it back before going to inspect another. Fizzy’s eyes bore into the side of his head.

Louis shrugs, “Other than the fact that my fucking feet are soaking wet and I’m cold. I also stepped in about five hundred puddles and nearly got knocked down by some dickhead speed walking just to get a fucking taxi.” Louis takes a heated breath, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes. “Yeah, Liam. I’m fucking peachy,” 

Fizzy punches his arm, “Don’t be a fucking dickhead.”

“Oi! Your mouth is-“ Fizzy raises her eyebrows as to say ‘I dare you to finish that thought’. Louis simmers down and rubs his arm. “Didn’t have to punch me,”

“Yeah well, you don’t have to be a dickhead to those who care about you.”

Louis rolled his eyes and picked up the bracelet that Liam had just picked up, twirling it around in his hand. It had four charms on it, a rose with a dagger and a ship with a small compass. Louis pursed his lips and picked up a ring, same gold but with no details on it.

“So are you ever going to tell us about your trip? What you saw, who you did- I mean!” Fizzy and Liam burst into laughter while Louis really didn’t see anything funny. He just didn’t want to talk about it, what’s done is done.

“Haha very funny. And what happened in Paris stays in Paris. I worked, I went to some museums and that’s it”

Liam rolled his eyes, “Bullshit but whatever. If you don’t want to tell us what happened and why it made you ten times grumpier then before you left then that’s fine with me.” Liam goes off in search of the manager to purchase one of the bracelets.

Later on in the day they all decide to go out to the pubs and get a drink, Liam specifically says in the text thread, ‘And to catch up with each other :)’ like they aren’t all practically living out of each other's pockets. But Louis goes because Zayn said he would pay and he never turns down a free drink.

He gets there at the same time that Zayn and Liam get there and they all grab a set in their regular booth, ordering a round of beer for the table before they even get their coats off.

Zayn leans over the table and gives him a hug and a pat on the back. “So has was Paris, Lou?” He shouts over the loud music.

Louis instantly scowls while Liam snickers next to him, excusing himself from the table to go piss. He sighs, “Why does everyone want to know what happened in Paris? It was for work, not a holiday. I saw some paintings and sculptures in a museum, the same pictures I sent to you’ and I saw the Eiffel Tower. That’s it!” Okay so maybe Louis is being a bit of a dickhead, but in his defense, he is telling the truth. He went to some museums, saw some paintings and sculptures and went to see the Eiffel Tower. But through all of that, he also may have fallen in love. 

Zayn gives him a look like he doesn’t believe him. “Okay, I know you did all of that. I saw the pictures.” Their drinks are set down and Louis immediately snatches his up taking big gulps. Liam comes back and kisses Zayn on the cheek, Louis pretends to be disgusted.

“So what are you two lovebirds doing for your anniversary?” Louis asks, taking a sip of his beer and hoping that Zayn would stop the conversation there.

Liam takes the bait, “Oh we’re just going to go out to eat and spend some time at home.” Louis knew that was code for ‘we’re going to have so much sex’ and he’s glad that Liam doesn't outright say it.

“So no holiday or anything?” 

Zayn shakes his head and sets down his bottle. “Nah, maybe in a few months but we just want to stay home. Not really the types to go all out.” Zayn looks at Liam and they stare into each other's eyes with so much love it makes Louis want to gag —he’s actually very much happy for them he's just being a negative nancy about everything. They share a few kisses because they have no shame before turning their attention back to Louis.

Zayn get’s this glint in his eyes, the same one he’s had before saying something so ridiculous that Louis is equally both confused and impress, but it’s also the same look he gives when he’s about to do or say something mischievous. Louis takes a deep breath and braces for impact. “So who did you fuck around with in Paris?”

Startled Louis chokes on his own spit, needing to pat his chest to stop the coughing. “What the fuck, Zayn?”

Liam pouts and speaks up, “We know something happened in Paris, Louis. Those pictures that you sent us, yeah well Zayn zoomed in on one of the frames and saw you holding hands with some bloke. Why didn’t you tell us you fell in love?!”

Louis’ eyes widen, not a single word leaving his mouth. He was almost one hundred and ten percent sure that he left out any photo evidence that he’d been with Harry before sending off those pictures. He should have just gotten pictures off of google and called it a day. “It…I- Listen, lads, let’s just leave it alone okay? You want to know what happens so bad huh?” Liam nods enthusiastically while Zayn takes a sip of his drink. “You want to know that damn bad? Well, I met this bloke coming out from my last meeting and he’s wearing the loudest outfit I’ve her seen in my still young gay life. So I said fuck it and went over to him and we hit it off. We spent the day together got drunk at some bar and went home. Almost fucked but we fell asleep instead.” He pauses just to get his bearings and to gage Liam and Zayn’s reaction. They urge him on and he rolls his eyes but continues. “He stayed at mine for the majority of the stay, we went out together on Valentine’s Day and did shit like a proper couple or whatever. Spent the weekend wrapped up in each other's arms and I went home. That’s it,”

 

Louis looks between the two and watches as different forms of sadness take over their face. He sighs and leans back into the vinyl leather. Liam reaches over and pats his shoulder. “That’s…that sounds really...uh it sounds like you had a really nice trip.”

Zayn hums, “Sounds like you met someone who seems to be very special to you. Why don’t you just call them up?”

Louis groans, “I’m an idiot who forgot to ask for his number.” Whenever Louis goes over that morning, how dumb he was to have completely forgotten the number one thing that would have eased this emotional turmoil, it causes him to get a massive headache.

“That’s rough, Lou.” Liam says, “Have you tried finding him online? Do you even know his last name?”

Louis shook his head, sitting up and fidgeting in his seat. “All I know is that his name is Harry. He made these ridiculous Gucci glasses can somehow pull off weird loud outfits that surprisingly works. When I first saw him he was wearing these purple trousers that flare at the bottom, it was like he'd just stepped off a time machine, and I was so floored because on anyone else it wouldn’t have worked, but he just pulled it off so effortlessly, like he genuinely didn’t give a shit what anyone said to him.” Louis smiles, staring off into the distance. “And then on Valentine’s Day, he was wearing these white pinstripe trousers that made him look like one of those American baseball players. I teased him but holy…he looked so good. I still don’t know how he does it. And he has pretty curls and pretty green eyes. Ya know, one of the first things he said to me was that I look like I’ve just shat my pants. He just comes out and says it and I laughed my arse off of course. And knows all of these random facts and says whatever comes to mind.” He pauses for a second to look at the boys, frowning at the looks on their face. “What?”

They look at each other with shit-eating grins on their faces. Liam just shrugs and takes a sip of his drink, knocking shoulders with Zayn who keeps staring Louis down. “It’s nothing, Louis. It’s just the first time we’ve seen you in love before that’s all.”

Louis doesn’t know what to say to that so he just keeps quiet and nurses his beer. He’d thought he was in love with Harry before, or maybe not in love but a small kind of love. When you find someone that shares an interest with you and you can’t get them out of your mind, can’t stand the thought of being without them, but it isn’t like that…right? They’d only been together for five days in total, surely that isn’t enough time to fall in love with somebody. Louis looks over at Zayn and Liam in their love-bubble and snorts. It took almost a week and a half for them to get together, so maybe Louis isn’t being weird.

They call it a night after two beers, and four unsuccessful attempts at trying to change the subject to something that didn’t revolve around Louis’ love life. He heads back to his cold empty flat to spend another hour tossing and turning in his bed, wishing he was holding someone.

 ____________________

When Louis was younger and dumb and naive he thought that there were many advantages to having a butt load of siblings. It was also his explanation as to why he had so many.

Louis thought that there was strength in numbers, and if he could get Lottie and Fizzy and sometimes the twins on board to beg their mother for some toy or to go and eat at a restaurant or walk to the park by himself then there was no way their mum could say no. She had more times than she said yes but when she did relent it was, in Louis’ young mind, because she couldn’t resist the puppy dog look on all of her children.

Louis also thought that it was great having so many siblings because he would have more help doing chores around the house. But it backfired when he told Lottie (age four at the time) to unload the dryer, something that was supposed to be his job, and their mum walked in with Lottie on the floor in a pile of clothing up to her knees while Louis had been taking a nap on the couch. He still shudders when he thinks about the punishment he got for that. 

Louis, as far as he knows, adores his siblings, spoiling them to no end even when his mum tells him off for doing so. They call and tell him that they need him he’s in his car and there as fast as he can manage. Did someone break your heart? Let's pig out on the couch and talk shit about whoever did what. Louis would go to the ends of the earth for his family, but if he could just spend one Saturday alone in bed without having to entertain Lottie and Fizzy ever Saturday they popped in for a visit that would be nice too. 

Louis gets up with a yawn, frown on his face as he listens to them rustling about in the kitchen. A pan hits the floor with a boom and it has Louis groaning into the palm of his hand. He would like to spend one weekend without any noise if that's too much to ask. He gets up and steadily walks into the kitchen walking as they pull out shit from the fridge that he hopes they’re planning on cooking because Louis spent a hundred pounds on groceries this week and nothing is going to be wasted because it’s sat out on the counter all day. 

“What the hell are you two doing making such a commotion so early in the fucking morning?” He bellows, taking amusement in their shocked faces.

Fizzy rolls her eyes and slaps down some butter in a heated up pan. “Why must you curse so much this early in the morning? Remember when mum washed your mouth out with soap after you told her how tired you were of ‘doing the fuckin’ dishes’?”

Lottie giggles in the background, placing six slices of bread on a pan and placing it in the oven.

Louis goes over and sits atop the counter, pushing over a package of bacon before ruffling up his hair, trying to stay awake. “And is there a reason you couldn’t do this at home?”

Fizzy cracks some eggs in a pan, “Because mum would have a fit knowing we were messing about in her kitchen. So he decided to mess around here, you even get free brekkie out of it if you help make the bacon.” 

“You only want me to make the bacon because the fat and grease always pop you.”

“Precisely, now get your fat arse up or you won’t be eating anything.” 

Louis eventually gets up after Lottie threatens him a couple more times, makes the bacon, and sits down to eat breakfast with his sister with what should have been a nice quiet Saturday night in. Louis’ not complaining, plus there is no such thing as peace and quiet when you’re a Tomlinson, no matter how much you grow and get your own flat family will always be there to wake you up by dropping pans on the floor. 

They head out an hour later after bugging Louis to no end, mostly asking invasive questions about his nonexistent love life. Lottie then keeps asking about his trip to Paris to which he replies multiple times, “That was two months ago, Lots. And you’ll find out whenever you go on summer holiday won’t you?” And then Louis finds out that no Lottie won’t be able to find out because she switched her plans and now she’s going to Greece for two weeks in July. Louis happily says, “And I’ll be working my arse off at home,” just to bug her a little and laughs when she calls him a workaholic. 

By the time they do leave he has them in stitches laughing but it’s not in the way he usually would, he’s almost certain they’re laughing at him not with him so he gives them the finger, wishes them well and to call when they get home, and all but slams the door in their giggling faces. 

And because God surely hates him, won’t even let him sleep the fucking day away, as Louis tucks himself back into bed there is rapid knocking at his door and then his phone starts to ring. Liam’s contact name pops up and he answers with a groan, “What the hell do you want from me, Liam?”

Louis can hear his frantic breathing over the phone. Liam pants out, “Open the fucking door dickhead!” Before he hangs up.

And just to spite Liam he goes to take a piss, washing his hands thoroughly and making sure to clean under his fingernails. Louis hears his phone go off again and makes his way slowly to the door, yawning and stretching out his arms (it’s good to stress and let the tension out of your body he thinks) for good measure of it before opening it as soon as Liam starts knocking again. 

Liam burst through the door, yelling out obscenities at Louis while collapsing on the couch, panting like he just ran a marathon. 

“Jesus Liam,” Louis walks over while scratching at his chest, staring down at Liam’s now relaxes form. “What the hell is going on with you? You do know it’s only ten in the fucking morning? Too early for me to be getting kicked out for excessive noise.”

Liam ignores him face still buried in Louis’ couch cushions and back still rising and falling rapidly. If Liam wasn’t on the new couch that he bought after the old one he had broken down then he would pour ice on his head. Louis chuckles a little thinking about Liam’s reaction. And speaking of the devil he finally rises, looking up at Louis with a faraway look in his eyes. He holds in a breath before exhaling, muttering ever so quietly, “I think Zayn is going to purpose.”

As soon as the words leave his lips Louis is on him in zero points five seconds, gathering Liam up in his arms and shouting in his ear, “Congratulations! Holy shit it took you all long enough!” And Louis truly was happy for his best mates, they’d been together for quite some time now, and he always knew that they were meant for each other. He kisses Liam’s sweaty forehead and pulls back, “Are you excited?” Liam’s still got that lost look on his face and Louis’ stomach drops at the possibility of what it might mean. “Oh no. You don’t want to marry him?” 

Liam gives him a shocked look, “No no no! I do want to marry him! 

“Then why do you look so off about it?”

He sighs, “Because I just wasn’t expecting it. I was using Zayn’s laptop and I saw that he was looking up directions for a jewelry shop that exclusively sold engagement rings and such. Then I saw that he looked up the best time to purpose.”

“So what’s the big deal?”

Liam pouts, “Because I’m mad that I spoiled it for myself, plus I’m just still in shocked that it’s happening. I rushed over to tell you because I couldn't hold it in any longer. I would have blurted out to Zayn sooner or later,”

Louis pulls Liam closer into his side, rubbing his back like he sees Zayn do sometimes to comfort him. “Yeah but the element of surprise is still there though. You don’t know when he’ll do it or how.” Liam nods and Louis continues, “Plus you can be quiet forgetful sometimes so by the time he’s done it you won’t even remember that he was planning to all along.”

Liam pulls away again and smiles, exhaling and leaning back into the couch. “Your right. Don’t know why I’m getting so worked up over this when my fucking boyfriend is about to propose to me!” 

Louis pats Liam on the shoulder, happy to see that his best mate is out of his self-made funk now. “Now that’s the kind of enthusiasm I want to see! Plus why stress over that when you’re about to stress over planning a wedding. And with the two of you, I know damn well it isn’t going to be a small affair.”

Liam gets that same faraway look on his face again, he groans and starts rubbing at his temple. “Oh fuck me. I’m going to have to plan a fucking wedding what the fuck,”

Louis laughs because it is so very amusing to poke fun at Liam. “Oops, didn’t mean to bring that up! Don’t worry you’ll forget soon enough.”

Liam gives him a look that is not at all amused, but Louis laughs anyway even when he’s being shoved to the floor. “You did that shit on purpose knowing that it’s going to plague my thoughts from now until the actual fucking day of the wedding. You fucker,” Louis is now on the floor holding his stomach, messing with Liam only has its perks, he always gets so riled up over nothing and it’s the funniest thing in the world. Although if Louis was planning a wedding he would be stressed too. Liam rolls his eyes, “Hahaha right? So funny huh? That’s why I’m going to find and invite that bloke you were in love with.” Louis stops laughing quickly. “Yeah not so funny now is it?”

Okay so maybe having a go at Liam didn’t always have its perks.

 ____________________

It turns out —not that Louis is really surprised because they won’t stop bringing it up no matter how many times he’s told them to knock it off—that no one seems to have had enough of prying into his love life. Or just his life in general.

They first start off by trying to find Harry, which ends up being a dead end just as soon as they start. For one Louis does not have any pictures of him, and no he doesn’t have any pictures of them in the throes of passion (“Fuck off, Liam.”). He told Zayn so he could draw a picture but none of them came out right, but one was actually very close. After a while, Louis told them off, that it was over and what they had belonged in the pass in Paris where it was going to stay. It stung to say but it was the truth, and afterward, they all sat around eating ice cream and dying of laughter watching some episodes of drag race.

Then they hit a low blow, or at least Lottie and Fizzy do because they tell mum what’s been happening. So now he has his mum on his arse wondering why he’s so heartbroken. She calls him up around dinner time and he groans when she demands to know the name of the man who broke her babies heart.

Louis pushes his plate away and sets down his fork, maybe a little to forcefully but he can’t make himself care. “Mum,” he sighs, “I’m not heartbroken. No one broke my heart. I had a small thing with someone that ended mutually but that was a few months ago.”

He can see the frown on her face without even having to be there. “But Lottie and Fizzy said that you were having relationship troubles.”

Louis shakingly drew in a breathe, promising himself that he would deal with them later. He goes on to say, “Mum, you would be the first person I told if I got into a serious enough relationship, and then for it to end. Once again I’m not heartbroken or sad or anything like that. I’m quite alright actually.” Which was partly the truth, but Louis doesn’t like to acknowledge the part of himself that is missing Harry and what they shared in Paris. It’s stored away in a part of himself that he won’t ever seek out, no matter how lonely it gets around here.

She hums and he can faintly hear the pitter patter of steps and then her name being yelled. She laughs, “Alright, boo. I have to go before the house burns down, Fizzy and the twins are trying to make some tea. Call me whenever! Love you,”

“Love you too, mum.”

And that also ends just as soon as it starts, although his mum has taken to texting him more often with little quotes and stories of life back home. His heart grows five sizes every time he receives them.

The last thing they all try is one that Louis absolutely wasn’t even going to entertain the thought, let alone go through with it. They brought it up after Louis told Lottie and Fizzy off for telling mum and having her worry for absolutely nothing. They even came over with a complete list on why this idea was sure to not only fix his relationship problems -- which Louis would like to add that he doesn’t have any-- but also help him get over his feelings for Harry.

Louis can instantly tell whose idea it was for the list, as he watches Liam explain everything on it in great detail.

Liam points to one area on the board, “You won’t have to worry if this person is crazy or not because we’re going to pick them out for you.”

Louis gives him a look. “Just by going off of what you said I should absolutely be worried. And wha-”

Lottie interrupts him, “Shut up and let us finish,”

Louis mocks her and motions for Liam to continue.

“Okay so there is nothing wrong with going on a blind date, and even if nothing happens out of it you can still gain a new understanding of yourself and-”

 Lottie cuts Liam off by standing up and clapping her hands. “That’s all good Liam. Cheers for putting it together.”

“But I wasn’t fin-”

Lottie claps her hands together and smiles at Louis but he can tell it’s not genuine. “Look we set you up on a blind date for Friday, which is tomorrow you’re welcome. Now, who's starving?” 

“Wait wait wait. Why the fuck do you all care so much about my love life. You all never cared this much before so what’s the matter now?” 

Fizzy answers this one, “Because we want you to be happy.”

Louis frowns, “Okay but I don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. I’m content with being single, and there is nothing wrong with that.”

For the first time, Zayn looks up from his phone and says in a soft voice, “I told them but they won’t listen.”

“Oh hush, Zayn.” Fizzy says, “You were helping us in the beginning.”

“Yeah, but it’s getting too invasive and I refuse to participate now,”

Fizzy sighs, “Anyways we know that there is nothing wrong with being single, and we never said that to you. And there is nothing wrong with going on a blind date either. Case closed.” 

Louis stood up, he’s had enough of the constant meddling and prodding into things that quite frankly aren’t any of their business, he’s let it gone on enough and a little too far. “Listen up, yeah. You want me to do the blind date thing? Fine, I’ll fucking do it. But after this, you lot stop trying to pry into things that don't concern you. I’m going to live my life the way that I want to, and if that’s not enough for you then make yourselves get used to it!” He looks around and their faces shaking his head and pointing at Zayn, “Why can’t you all be like him huh? He minds his business and only kicks me in the arse when I need to get my shit together every once in a while. Do you see Zayn? Be like Zayn,” 

And that was the end of the most annoying start of the week Louis has ever had. After that they all ate Chinese takeaway and called it a night, the girls stayed and helped cleaned up before retiring to the guest room, and Zayn and Liam left with the promise of coming back over tomorrow night to help him get dress.

That’s where they are now, throwing clothes off of the hangers and onto the bed without much care.

He could barely even eat breakfast in the morning without Lottie pushing him into the bathroom and telling him to trim his beard which did break his heart a little to shave it down but whatever. It wasn’t as a tense morning as he thought it would be, they basically told him all he needs to know about the guy he was meeting with and what to wear.

Lottie started off, “Well basically he works with Liam, but that’s not the most important part.”

What Louis has been informed is that the guy's name is Eric. He, of course, works at the same primary school as Liam but he works with year two’s. He’s shown a picture and he has to admit the guy doesn’t look half bad, brown wavy hair that’s trimmed close to his head, soft brown eyes, and full lips. Easy smile, kind eyes, and seems like he could maybe rival Liam for the best puppy dog eyes in the world. He loves teaching, has two dogs when he can travel a lot.

Louis shrugs, “He seems nice,”

Lottie rolls her eyes, “He’s more than nice but whatever.”

When that’s out of the way they finally leave him to his own devices and he heads off to work, coming back to not only be shoved back into the shower but then to have to sit out in only his pants while they rifle through his things.

“What about this?” Fizzy holds up a pair of plain black joggers with a hole near the crotch. She grimaces and throws it on the bed when she sees it. “Never mind.” 

Zayn’s sitting in the chair across from his bed, watching something on his phone and only looking up when Liam wants his opinion on something. “S’too bright. Isn’t this supposed to be a casual date? That has a rip at the bottom. Maybe try the white shirt with the trousers?” 

By the end of it Louis is all dressed up in plain black trousers and a white button-down shirt that he swears isn’t his, but it doesn’t matter anyway. He throws on some cologne because why not and then he’s out of the door with a kiss on the cheek from Liam and words of encouragement from the girls. Zayn doesn’t say anything but he gets a text that reads:

 

**Although I think this is stupid. I hope you have a fun time out tonight! X)x**

 

Louis arrives with about ten minutes to spare, getting settled at the table and grabbing a piece of the fresh bread just placed on down in front of him. It’s a semi-formal restaurant with low lighting and candles on each table. On the high beams sat little lanterns with flowers and other types of plants intertwined between them. It was a little rustic for Louis’ taste but he couldn’t complain. There were couples all around in booths and stand-alone tables sitting together, close and gazes unwavering as they shared sentiments for their partner's ears only. Louis looks away and swallows down a mouth full of bread getting it down with a glass of water. 

“Uhh, Louis?”

Louis turns his head quickly at the sound of his name to see that the bloke in the picture that Lottie showed him was now standing right in front of him, kind smile and all. Louis stands and holds out his hand, albeit a bit awkward but who cares. “Yeah yeah! And you must be Eric right?” Eric nods and shakes it with a grin and sits down, wiping at the sweat on his brow. 

“Sorry I was almost late, got caught up giving check marks on my kid's art project, they had to make up their own superhero that didn’t have abnormal powers and just everyday things that they do really well, and anyways I lost track of time.”

Louis shakes his head and takes a sip of his water, trying to calm his nerves. “No, it’s alright. I just got here anyways so no need to fret or anything. So you have kids?”

Eric lets out a startled laugh, “No no, when I mean kids I meant the ones that I teach.” Louis would be telling an absolute lie if he were to say that this bloke, sorry Eric, who is sitting right in front of him an obvious nervous wreck is at least a tiny bit attractive to Louis. He sort of reminds Louis of Liam.

He can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not but for right now he’s going to make an effort to actually be pleasant and a good date.

“So you’re a good mate of Liam’s right?”

Louis nods, “We’ve been best mates since college. He’s a good one, Liam.”

Eric makes a sound of agreement and takes a sip of his water when the waiter comes over.

“Hello, I am Tyler and I will be your server tonight,” Tyler breathes effortlessly like it’s been ingrained in his head. “And what would you like to start off with today? We just add a new lobster meal to our menus and a chief's choice option. But let's start you all off with something light yes?”

Louis looks up at Eric, not knowing what to do or what to order. The first time he’s ever been flustered at a restaurant like this. Or maybe not the first time. Either way, he doesn’t care to have an appetizer would rather get straight to dinner. He looks up at Eric from his menu, “Do you want to order a salad or something? I’d just rather get to dinner.” Eric agrees and they both decide to order the chef's choice because why not? The waiter leaves with the menu and comes back with two wine glasses and the cheapest wine option they have. He leaves with a tilt of the head and a promise that their dinner would be very soon.

It was back to the awkward silence between the two of them, Louis twiddled his fingers and looked around, searching his brain for something to talk about.

Eric caves first. “So what do you do for work?”

“I work at this company, it’s uhh… it’s boring stuff. I mostly just type away at my computer the whole day. But the most exciting stuff, if you want to call it that, is when I sometimes, like twice a year have to go to these big meetings on behalf of my boss and take notes from our other partners and present what we’ve done for that half of the year. Basically just updating the other branches and seeing what they’ve done.” He takes a breath and laughs, “It can be quiet boring but I honestly don’t mind it. 

Eric smiles and it’s creepy of how much it reminds him of Liam. “That’s really nice.”

Louis tries to shake the thought out of his head by asking his own question. “So how do you like teaching?”

Eric takes no time before diving right in, face instantly lighting up as he talks about his job. “I honestly love it so much. Even though a lot of people don’t find my year all that special it’s still the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. 

“I mean it really is special. You're basically laying down the foundation of their entire school career. Will they care or would they rather eat glue or eat sand.”

Eric laughs at that and Louis feels a swell of something that had been dormant in him since...he shakes his head.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that. But I just love working with children, they want to learn so much and they also absorb so much to. And I make sure I don’t have any glue eaters if I can help.” They laugh at that, “Although once and a while at nap time I can see at least two kids struggling to open their mouths to snore.”

If Louis didn’t know any better he might actually be having a great time with Eric. Eric who is charming and witty and at certain times remind him of Liam so much that he tries to chalk it up to him and Liam being a teacher and friends.

They both drink half of their wine, and by the time their food comes out, Moroccan chicken with a side of asparagus and on a bed of rice, they have a steady stream of conversation flowing between them.

Louis shares some stories:

“So the stupid thing I’ve ever done was jump into a mates pool during the middle of winter starkers. It was back home in Doncaster. Probably the stupidest thing ever because I ended up staying home a week from school because I got ill. Mum grounded me when she found out. 

“My first kiss was actually not as much of a disaster as I thought it was going to be. I was thirteen and she was a year older than me. We were at this stupid boy and girls party that was hosted by one of her mates and me and my mates all got invited. So we’re all in the family room waiting for her parents to leave. When they finally did we played spin the bottle. Coincidentally it was also the first time I kissed a boy too!”

And by the end of it all their dying laughing like old mates who’ve just seen each other after a really long time. They tone it down for all the others around them, but the blind date wasn’t as bad as Louis thought it was going to be. Eric could have turned out to be a real douchebag but he wasn’t, he was a sweet guy that Louis felt really bad for because he doesn’t feel the same way. And he knows he doesn’t feel the same way because every time their feet brush Eric gets all flustered and pink-cheeked, or the time when they reached for the very last fresh bread, the same thing happened. And all Louis could do was take a deep breath and retract his hand back under the table, move his foot to the side in hopes that they won’t brush together again. 

They go half and half on the bill, Eric helps him put on his coat and the exit the dimly lit restaurant together, shoulders brushing and out of breath from all the laughter. He walks Eric back to his car, and before he leaves a hand reaches out and stops him. 

It’s Eric, “I just,” he stops and looks up at the sky before looking back down at Louis. “I just had a good time tonight is all.”

Louis nods, “I really did too,” And he really means it, as apprehensive as he had been about this whole thing he can honestly say he had a wonderful time.

Eric quickly pulls out his phone and holds it out to Louis, “Put your number in so we can keep in touch.” He adds quickly, “If you don’t mind.” 

Louis grabs it and punches in his number, handing it back with a smile. “No problem at all, love. I’ll see you yeah?” 

“Yeah,” And he climbs inside, waving goodbye at Louis before starting up his car and exiting the lot. 

Louis finds his own car and heads up, smile still on his face as he walks through the door, dodging all the questions being thrown at him. He simply says, “None of your business,” before closing the door to his bedroom and collapsing on his bed, smiling into the pillow.

 ____________________

Eric and him start to text back and forth pretty regularly after their first date. Another one isn’t being set up, and if Louis is being one hundred percent honest he doesn’t really want to go on another date. And it’s not that he didn’t enjoy himself, because he really did, but he can’t picture himself being with Eric in that way.

It also takes him only a week to crack before he tells them how it all went. They had been relentless with interrogating him, and Zayn being the only one he has told, they all started prodding him with questions as soon as they found out he knew.

And right now they’re at Zayn and Liam’s helping them renovate the living room and the kitchen. Painting with nice even strokes and trying not to get a drop anywhere but the wall proved harder than it looked, and Louis is not even that surprised, because as soon as the second can is opened a brush is being dipped in and in a split second he’s got a stripe of white paint across his arse. 

After that it’s an all-out war, paint is being flung around, Liam is staring at them in disbelief before he joins in and paints a stripe down Fizzy’s arm. Zayn comes in a second after and is picking up a roller and rolling paint on Liam’s exposed back.

It all ends when Louis gets a stripe across his forehead and he almost tips over the can. 

“You fuckers,” he grumbles, “I’ve got paint in my hair because Fizzy likes to play dirty.” 

She sticks out her tongue and rolls a stripe on the wall. “Oh quit being so damn dramatic. Look at me!” She’s got paint in her hair and all on her arms and shirt. “Yeah, thanks to Liam and you double teaming me. So don’t pretend to be all innocent now.”

They finish off painting the two rooms and eat leftover pizza. Of course, that’s when the questions start to pour in. Liam sets down his slice and looks over at Louis from his place on the floor. “Why won’t you tell us how your date went?”

Louis groans and takes another bite, mouth full he says, “Cause it’s none of your business.” 

“Yes, it is,” Fizzy starts, “Because we’re the ones who set up the date. We’re responsible and we want to know if you had a good time. Is it that unreasonable to want to know?” 

Louis shrugs, giving in, “Okay it was fine.” 

Liam narrows his eyes, “Just fine?” 

“Yeah, just fine. We talked we laughed. Standard date stuff,” 

Fizzy squeals and finishes off the rest of her pizza, gulping down some water before saying. “I bet you two are in love already, knowing you, you’re probably setting up the wedding.” Liam and Lottie giggle behind their glass of wine.

Zayn looks at Louis, the right side of his face cracking from the paint. Amused by what’s happening he says, “You should have just left it at fine, mate.”

Fizzy jabs playfully at Zayn, “Anyways when is your next date with Eric?”

Louis looks down at the crust left on his plate, he murmurs, “There isn’t going to be another date I don’t think.”

“What!” Fizzy and Liam say in unison. They immediately start to yell back and forth at Louis while he glares at Zayn.

He mouths, What have I done. Which causes Zayn to almost choke in a fit of laughter. By the time they're done there is a slight ringing in Louis’ ear. Zayn through a burst of laughter says, “I told you to just be vague about it, love.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Liam asks, sipping at his wine.

Louis purses his lips, shaking his head, “There is nothing wrong with him. I just...I just don’t feel like the date was that revolutionary that we have to go on another.” 

Fizzy groans, whining, “Is this because of Harry?”

“No, Jesus that was months ago can we leave that where it lies? I just don’t want to go out on a second date.” 

Fizzy whines petulantly, “But why?” 

“Because I said so that’s why. It’s not rocket science, I don’t want to go on another date and that’s just it.”

Liam tips back the rest of his wine, “Fine but don’t say we didn’t try and help.”

Louis gives him a look, Zayn laughs beside him, trying to catch his breath. “I never asked for your help! What the fuck?”

They leave it at that, no more questions asked and Louis finally not subjected to answer any more of their questions. His skin prickles when he thinks that he never even fucking asked for the help, but no, he doesn’t say anything, just lets them think that he’s helpless. And maybe he is because the same green eyes and cherry red lips make its way into his dreams that night. He wakes with a smile on his face and heart feeling heavy and taunt.

 ____________________

“Please tell me again what is the reason for this? Isn’t it suppose to be my birthday week? Aren’t we supposed to do whatever I want?”

It’s eight in the morning and they’re boarding a train to Paris. Louis puts his luggage in the overhead case, shrugging his carry on bag off and his coat, stuffing it atop his luggage. He sits next to Lottie with a frown, obviously not happy with the turn of events. 

They were supposed to be headed to Amsterdam to spend the week as per Louis’ request when they asked him what he wanted to do on his birthday. This had been planned over the summer, the same summer that Zayn proposed to Liam. So they were all treating the trip as a pre-wedding trip for the two lovebirds and a birthday present for Louis. They all agreed, they all bought their train tickets except that they all said they would cover Louis because it would be his present (which in hindsight should have had alarm bells ringing in his head), and now they’re all betraying Louis. He groans again, fidgeting in his seat. Lottie smacks his arm, “Quit your whining. It’s not that serious is it?” 

“Yeah, but what the fuck is the point? Why are we going?”

Lottie sighs and snuggles into her small blanket she bought on the way over. “Because we all want to experience what you experienced in Paris. And we’re only going to be there barely for half a day. Our train to Amsterdam leaves at six and we arrive at three.”

If Louis could categorize his anger at this moment he would be way past the point of seething, he’s so enraged by what they're doing that he doesn’t know if he could ever forget this, let alone forgive. But he doesn’t say anything, just sits in the plush seat and watches as other people come in and out with luggage, tries to time his breathing with the knee of a man who won’t stop bouncing his leg. Zayn and Liam come in with their luggage and big smiles on their faces. Louis doesn't acknowledge them, just watches as they put their stuff up and sit adjacent to Lottie and him, a small grey table in between them. He looks over at Fizzy who already seems to be asleep. 

“He knows doesn’t he?” He looks over at Liam and glares at him, still not saying a word. “Oh he definitely knows huh,” Liam says again. Zayn gives him an apologetic look, Louis rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, aggressively putting in his headphones and ignoring them the entire train ride.

By the time the train stops and they grab their luggage and leave it’s three in the afternoon and he’s played ABBA so much he’s got the lyrics to super trooper ingrained in his mind. They have three hours until they board the next train to Amsterdam. Louis is silently counting down the minutes, _seconds_ until he can breathe easy again. 

The first thing they do is, of course, go see the Eiffel Tower, but it means nothing to Louis. He watches as they take pictures while he tries not to get his shoes muddy or socks soaking wet like last time. He cringes thinking about it, and who he was here with last time. They leave and head over to a place to get something to eat. They’ve only got two hours before they have to head over to the next train station.

“I actually could see myself living her permanently. It’s really beautiful,” Fizzy says, biting into her croissant. They all hum in agreement but Louis, he takes a bite out of his breakfast bagel. 

“I dunno. It’s a bit lackluster in the winter. I’d rather come back in the summer or summat.” Zayn says, sipping on his coffee. Louis thinks about Harry and how he shared the same sentiment.

He clasps his eyes shut and tries to will away the images of Harry peering up at the Eiffel Tower during the summer, sun-kissed skin and smile on his face and obnoxious pink sparkly glasses perched up high on his nose. Cheeks rosy and lips almost the same color as the rose on the ground. He would smile as he says, “Looks better in the summer, but it’s still just a big piece of metal.” 

“Yeah,” He hears Liam say, “It’s probably gorgeous in the summer. With all the leaves on the trees and everything.”

Louis squeezes his eyes shut harder before opening them. He catches Zayn’s gaze before they move away. He doesn’t finish the rest of his bagel.

The rest of the two hours is spent roaming the city using a GPS so they don’t get lost. They don’t have enough time to stop at a museum that Zayn wanted to go to, and soon they’re waiting at a bus stop with only forty-five minutes until their train leaves. 

That’s when Louis sees him.

He wouldn’t have even known it was him had it not been for those obnoxious fucking glasses that are perched perfectly straight on his face. He’s wearing blue loose fitting jeans that are cuffed at the bottom, the same furry coat he wore back in February, but this time he’s not alone. That’s when Louis remembers that Harry had told him he and his family were planning on coming back here at the end of the year.

His heart stops as he watches a bus pull up, Harry laughing next to some woman who looked like him. Perhaps his sister or mother. Louis does the logical thing and drops his luggage and runs over to him, dodging cars and walking pedestrians. He tries his hardest to get through the crowd, ignoring the calls of his name and trying to get to Harry before it’s too late. He can’t lose him again. 

But Louis isn’t fast enough, and Harry is the next in line to get on the bus, and he can’t hear Louis calling his name. “Harry!” he tries again, but he’s gone, and Louis' heart shatters again watching the bus leave in a cloud of dust and city smoke.

Tears well up in his eyes but he blinks them away, flinching when a hand grabs him by the shoulder and turns him around. It’s Zayn.

“Why the fuck did you take off running? What’s the matter?”

Louis doesn’t say anything, just lets the tears fall while Zayn pulls him into a tight hug. He’s lost him again, and this time he’s not sure if he’ll ever find him.

 ____________________

Amsterdam proves to be just as magical as Louis thought it was going to be after browsing through photos in bed at home back before he first thought about going on a trip for his birthday. They eat amazing food and spend most of the time traveling around the city and getting drunk. Louis may have gone a little bit harder than he initially wanted, but he’s turning twenty-six next week, now in his late twenties and he’s heartbroken so fuck it if he wants to have a good time. 

So what if by the time they get home he can only remember a hand full of things that happened on the trip, wincing every time his headache would flare up on the flight back. Lottie and Liam gave him an ear full about it, but with each glance, Zayn gave him he was sure he put the pieces together on why he went off the rails that entire week.

Back at home wasn’t any better, but he stopped the drinking altogether and just went to work and to bed every day. Answered text and phone calls when he needed but other than that he practically went AWOL.

On his birthday he went home and was uncharastically quiet, but nobody brought it up. Naturally, his mum picks up on it. It’s after dinner, the day before his birthday and all he’s really done is sulk around and play with the twins, helping Dan with shoveling the snow and sleeping the rest of the day away until dinner. 

He’s called down while snuggled up in his childhood bedroom, spiderman blanket barely covering his feet but it brings him comfort when nothing else has been able to. He peers around at the posters on his wall, football stars and Harry Potter posters mixed together. His bookshelf that he had made himself overflowing with CD’s that he made and books that he’d hardly read. Wardrobe covered in stickers and comic books stacked neatly in the plastic it had come in on top in a brown worn box his mum had given him when he’d turn thirteen at the height of his comic obsession.

He leaves with a sigh, bumping in Daisy on the way down and promising that before he left after Boxing Day that he would have a snowball fight with them.

“We have to team up on Phoebe and Lottie because they’re going to cheat and make snowballs while we’re getting ready.”

He laughs and kisses the top of her head, promising once more before heading downstairs. His mum is waiting for him in the den with a steaming cuppa and biscuit. He sits beside her and nibbles on the biscuit while waiting for his cuppa to cool down. She wraps an arm around him, he sags into it, feeling safe in her arms like a child again. He watches as snow falls down outside through the slit in the curtains. 

“So what’s going on, Louis?” He knows that tone means that he won’t be able to get out of it with an excuse. He decides to come clean and tells her all about what happened in Paris, falling in love with a stranger and never feeling quiet hole again once he came back home. How he left his heart back in Paris with Harry. How he saw him again and lost him all in the same breath. He doesn’t cry like he did when he first told Zayn, he thinks he’s grown numb to it.

“Oh, baby.” She says pulling him close. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. I wish I could make you feel better, love.”

He shrugs into her embrace, mumbling, “S’okay, it’s...I’ll be okay.”

“I know you’ll be okay, you’ve always been able to bounce back so quickly I always worried you weren’t giving yourself enough time to feel. But I want you to know, and I know you probably already know, but it’s okay to not be okay right now. Your heart is broken and it’s a terrible thing to feel, yeah? I know what it’s like to be heartbroken, and I know it takes time to get over it and you will in due time. But right now if you need me you know I’m always here for you, Louis.”

He nods and clamps his eyes shut, gritting out, “I know mum.”

It’s silent for some time, and he’s almost sure he’s fallen asleep when he hears someone shuffling around and opens his eyes to see a tired Fizzy holding a crying Doris. He lets his mum go and she pats his knee before getting up and taking Doris upstairs. 

Fizzy wavers, “You coming up?” 

He nods and stands, stretching before wrapping an arm around her shoulder and heading upstairs together. They say their goodnights and I love you’s before going to their own room. For the first time in a while, he doesn’t go to sleep tossing and turning. 

His birthday was a family only event, he did receive a text from Liam and Zayn and a promise to go out with them once he got back. But he mostly spent the day hanging around with them, helping his mum make dinner before getting shooed out of the kitchen. “It’s your birthday, you don’t get to help make your own dinner.” Afterward, he begrudgingly puts on his coat and hat and gloves to go out and have a snowball fight with the girls that almost ends as soon as it begins. They have dinner not long after and sing happy birthday with a handmade cake all the girls helped cook. He could tell by the crooked letters and the sprinkles haphazardly spread around the sides and top.

It helped to take his mind off of everything for a while, which is why he decides that for the new year he’s going to make an effort to come and spend more time at home. It makes his mum almost cry when she tells him.

The week he gets back to London he almost starts up his hermit tendencies again, only going out to work and coming home to sleep the day away.

Zayn barges his way into his flat only two days later. Louis’ in bed after a day of meetings and would rather stay inside where it’s warm and dry than go out and probably step in a puddle. Zayn has other plans. “Get up and get dressed.” He says with something serious in his eyes. 

Louis peers over at him from under the mound of blankets. “Where are we going,” His voice is muffled when he says it, so Zayn gives him a look and pulls the blanket off of him.

“We’re going for a walk. Now go piss and put something on. I will be waiting in the living room.” Except he makes no move to get up from his spot at the base of Louis’ bed. They stare each other down. Zayn pinches his thighs and Louis gets up with a yelp, going to take a piss and coming out only in pants. He puts on some black trousers and a sweater, putting on the wool socks he got for Christmas (thank you mum) and heading out with his winter gear on him and Zayn shoulder to shoulder with Zayn’s umbrella fluttering above them. It’s drizzling out, people walking with a purpose in mind and phone in hand as they try and make it point a to b. Shops mostly light up the pavement as the steel grey sky cast everything in a dim shadow. It doesn’t even look like midday, but it’s London in the winter what is there to expect?

Zayn speaks first, “Thought going home would get you out of your little funk.”

Louis huffs, “Yeah me too,”

They continue to walk across the street and past a few office buildings and even Zayn’s flat. “I think-” he starts but gets cut off when he sees Eric standing a few centimeters in front of him.

“Hey, Louis.” He says, carding a hand through his rain-soaked hair. It curls a little under his touch. 

“Hey, Eric. I, umm, we haven’t talked in a while.” He has to raise his voice so he can hear him with all the traffic around them. 

Zayn must sense something because he waves at Eric and motions over to one of the shops, and goes to stand under an awning to have a smoke. Eric stands closer and Louis has stops himself from backing away.

Eric nods, “Yeah yeah, I haven’t even been in town really.” 

“Oh really? What’s going on?”

“Nothing major,” he says, “Just visiting family is all.”

Louis nods, and they stand there in the rain awkwardly. Droplets fall from the tip of Louis’ nose, he sniffles and wipes the rain away. “I’ve just got back from visiting family, I’ve been working an-”

Eric cuts him off, “This isn’t...I mean, you’re not into me are you?”

Louis closes his eyes and sighs, “I’m so sorry, Eric.”

“No no, it’s okay. I sorta figured with the radio silence and all, but it’s alright.”

“Eric-” Louis tries, but if he’s being honest he’s glad that this is happening, relief instantly floods through him.

“I have to go, but it was nice…it was nice Louis.” And he’s off with a wave to Zayn and a curt nod sent in his direction. 

Zayn comes back, amused and smelling slightly of cigarettes. “So you too going out on another date or?”

Louis snorts, bump shoulders with Zayn and leads the way back down the street. “Fuck off,” With no destination in mind they continue to walk, shivering slightly from the rain but conversation passes easily through them. “So when is the wedding?” 

Zayn laughs and scratches his beard. “Umm...Liam says he wants a summer wedding but I don’t know really. I’m shooting for the end of summer and beginning of spring.” 

Louis wraps an arm around Zayn’s shoulder, looks over at him with a smile. “Can’t believe you’re going to be a married man soon I reckon huh?”

Zayn gives Louis a look, “Your next, Tommo.”

“Nah, I’m just going to be uncle Louis and call it a day. Speaking of being an uncle, when are you two-” Before he can finish Zayn elbows him in the stomach playfully, and they cross the street. They stop in front of a little coffee shop with the name _Little Slice of Paris_ as the name. Louis rolls his eyes and points it out to Zayn. “What a name right?” Zayn just smiles but makes no hesitation to move. Louis looks around, watching as patrons enter and leave the shop.

His breathing stops, then quickens, then stops again. He looks over at Zayn and then back at Harry, whose hair has grown longer and there's an apron around his neck with the Eiffel Tower printed on it and the shop's name. He’s standing beside someone and laughing, hand on their holder and the other on his hip, Louis can see the cheap ring he had given him tied around his neck. 

Their eyes meet through the window, and it’s like he’s at the bus stop all over again. Watching the man with the pink obnoxious sunglass glass and purple corduroy trousers stand out from the crowd like he was meant to. Louis’ frozen this time, can’t seem to breath can’t seem to move at all really. Harry stills his movements also and almost stumbles over something as he hastily makes his way out of the shop. A ding is heard and a rush of air comes with it.

They’re standing right in front of each other, and it’s like Louis brain can’t even register what’s happening, Harry who he hasn’t spoken to or seen properly in months is standing right in front of him, same glasses on and everything. And like he’s on autopilot he trips forward and gathers Harry in an embrace, tight against his chest like he’s never going to let him go, makes a silent promise to never let him go. Harry holds on just as tight, breath ragged and curls wet from the rain that’s now in a downpour. But Louis can’t seem to care right now, because he has Harry in his arms again.

They don’t pull away for what feels like hours or days or months or years, Louis wouldn’t have it any other way, would rather spend years in an embrace with Harry than without Harry at all.

They do pull away eventually, and out of the corner of his eyes he can see Zayn’s smug face (a few days later he learns that Zayn is the one who found Harry by putting his drawings of him up online and finding out that _Little Slice of Paris_ is a shop Harry opened up a few months after their time together, and for that he will always be indebted to Zayn forever). He can’t tell if those are tears in Harry’s eyes or rain or he’s high. He laughs and pulls him in a hug again, just as tight and just as promising. Louis tucks his chin into Harry’s shoulder, murmuring in his ear, “I can’t lose you again, H.”

Harry pulls back and gives Louis look, all pouty and confused. He takes off his glasses. “What do you mean _again_?”

Louis swallows around the lump in his throat, gripping Harry’s hand tightly afraid he’s going to slip away again. “I saw you in Paris, in December, you’d just gotten on a bus before I could catch you. I-”

Harry pulls him into another hug, squeezing him tight and whispering in his ear quietly, “Oh Louis.”

But Louis needs to look at Harry and he needs to make him understand what he means. He pulls back and puts his hands on either side of Harry’s head, staring him right in the eye and saying with a shaky breath. “I-I can’t lose you again. I tried so hard to get you out of my mind but I couldn’t. I dreamed of you always. Harry, I...I can’t lose you again I just can’t .” He tries his best not to stutter it out, with the freezing rain and everything, but he knows Harry understood from the way he sniffles and wipes at his eyes. 

“I can’t lose you either. I’ve been trying so hard to find you, Louis. I won’t ever let you go.”

No more words are exchanged between them only declarations of love that are shared with loving looks and kisses and hugs, disbelief that they’ve found each other again woven into their kisses that are desperate and filled with promises they’re not brave enough to say yet. But they know that they have each other, and that’s all that matters at the moment.

 

**Fin.**

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!
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> [Fic post on Tumblr](http://aiienharry.tumblr.com/post/182805458426/life)


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